


Peace and Purpose

by CallowAlex, thishasbeenaPSA (CallowAlex)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, I'm waaaay too impatient for that shit, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Smut, THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SLOW BURN, implied/ referenced self harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:28:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21982171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallowAlex/pseuds/CallowAlex, https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallowAlex/pseuds/thishasbeenaPSA
Summary: Rey tries to juggle her friends, college, and her newfound hatred for a mysterious man she only just met. The tides quickly turn the more she knows about him, but that certainly doesn't change everything.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron & Finn, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 3
Kudos: 38





	1. (Feels Like) Heaven

The wind cut through her like a knife, but she really didn’t mind. The cold was annoying, yes, but she was always grateful to be away from the desert in the middle of fucking nowhere. So she bundled and tried her best to enjoy the small flakes of snow falling to the ground.

New York was still a strange and foreign place to her, but she loved it nonetheless. She loved having seasons; watching the leaves turn and fall to the ground. She also loved bundling up, it made her feel safer and cozier, not that shorts and a good tank top didn't suit her.

She was a woman on a mission, and that mission was to get to her friend Poe’s house before he did something dumb. She just got off the phone with him, and he was very drunk, saying he was going to quit his job and move to a small town in Vermont? He sounded crazy. So she bundled up and began her short hike to his house.

He was always a good friend to her, and they met through her friend Finn. Her and Finn were sophomores in college and Poe was just about to get his masters at 24. Rey had just turned 20, and she was blooming in her newfound independence.

Not that she wasn’t independent before, it was just crippled by the harsh adoptive parents she had. But she didn’t like to think about them, so she didn’t.

She reached the old brick townhouse. Both the interior and exterior betrayed its age, but she found the ivy and the noisy old radiator charming. She basically flew up three flights of stairs, arriving at his door. 

Before she could knock she heard Poe talking loudly to someone else.

“- so it’s not going to be a big deal. It’s just that  _ you’re  _ overreacting.  _ I’m  _ fine.” Fuck, she felt bad for whoever that was, probably Finn, having to deal with Poe like this. She cared for him dearly, but he could really be the worst sometimes.

She raised her hand to knock, but before she did she heard another voice. “Poe, look at yourself. You aren’t in any state to be making big life decisions.” She hadn’t heard the voice before, and it definitely wasn’t Finn. It was low and steady and calm. The man sounded tall, if that made any sense. She knocked on the door.

She heard Poe groan from the other side. After a beat, she heard footsteps and a turning of the door. When it slowly opened, she was taken a bit aback. The man that stood there was tall and broad and all legs. He had dark hair and hazel eyes that seemed to look right through her soul. And he was hot, and she  _ hated  _ him.

She didn’t have a reason to hate him. He was clearly a friend of a friend, but something about his three piece suit and the way he looked her up and down and the way he was impossibly hot made her blood boil. She indignantly pushed past him, and she felt him stare daggers into her back.

“Poe, are you okay?” She mused, playing with his hair that was greying prematurely. “Let’s grab some takeout or something, just hang out.”

“Did Kylo send you? I told him I didn’t want anyone to talk me out of this. I’m making the right choice, I swear…” His voice faded in her ears as she turned to look at the man who had settled himself in  _ her  _ friend’s armchair. His long legs were crossed, and he was analyzing the two of them. ‘ _ This must be Kylo _ ’, she thought. It was a stupid, uppity name. She turned back to Poe. “... And that’s why I’m gonna quit working for her. I’m tired of my little ‘side job’, I want to do something  _ meaningful. _

“Poe, a newspaper isn’t an unimportant side job. You do a lot of good. You’re studying in the field you’re working in, it’s a big accomplishment!” It was certainly more than Rey could say for herself. 

“But I want to do something,” He stopped to let out a disgusting burp, “Something bigger. I want to be an environmental lawyer.”

Rey was taken aback.  _ A lawyer? Interesting.  _ “Poe, I think you’d be a great lawyer.”

The silent man, Kylo, she presumed, finally interjected. “Are you really sure that’s a good idea? I mean, a lawyer is a tall order. Can you handle it?”

The implication that Poe wasn’t equipped for a job his drunken mind concocted infuriated Rey. “Now what exactly are you implying? What is it that  _ you  _ do? I think Poe could ‘handle it’ just fine.”

As if expecting this response from her, he instantly leaned forward in his seat, sneering his retort. “I’m actually getting my PhD in political science from Columbia. What is it that you do, little girl.”

The little girl admittedly got her a bit too fired up. “It’s a travesty we go to the same school, really. And I’m a bioengineer, if that means anything to you.”

“Ooo, a ‘bioengineer’” His air quotes around her title made her draw her lips into a tight line. “And what exactly are you doing with that, little girl? Does the sandwich shop let you genetically modify your romaine lettuce?” He pushed out his bottom lip in a fake pout.

Seething, the world melted away. It was just her and this vindictive, angry man. Sure, she may have technically started it by defending Poe, but she forgot what she was even arguing. She just wanted to put the stupid, attractive, pompous man in his place. “You know and will know nothing about me. What’re you going to do, become a senator and do nothing but be a fucking rich old white guy that comes from daddy’s money? At least Poe and I will be making a difference,” She jabbed her finger at a moderately confused looking Poe.

“You don’t know what you’re saying, I can make a difference, a real one. I’m going to reform the system from the inside, you’ll see. And ‘daddy’s money’ keeps getting bet on the next racehorse. Not like I’m in the inheritance anyways.” 

“Wow, nothing cooler than talking about being disinherited. You just get hotter by the minute, don’t you?”

Taken aback by the implications of her retort, he simply dismissed her by a wave of his hand. “Just go, You’ll be of no help here. Poe needs to keep his job or he won’t be able to afford this place, but I  _ was  _ telling him that, when he’s good and sober, he can do what he wants come next semester. Just get lost, okay?”

And, for some unknown reason, she did. 

She called Poe the next day, and he thanked her for showing up. He obviously didn’t remember much, because after he thanks her, he starts talking about his ‘college buddy’, Kylo.

“You know, he’s a bit headstrong, but a really nice guy. You met him, you two should hang out together sometime? You have a lot in common, you know.”

Rey laughed into the phone. “Are you suggesting I hang out with a man who insulted my career, my prospects? Someone who even insulted you? He called me ‘little girl’, Poe.”

She heard a heavy sigh followed by a mumbled ‘of course he fucking did’. “Okay, I’m sorry he was like that, he certainly has an ego to him, but honest to God he’s not a bad guy. He’s a good friend. Maybe we can put you two on better terms? Look, after classes, I’m having people over. Finn, Rose, the usual. Come over.”

Rey frowned. “Will  _ he  _ be there?”

“Just come,” Poe groaned. “Come on, we’re all friends. I don’t want you two fighting. Just come. We’ll just be watching a movie, it isn’t the end of the world.”

Rey sighed. “I’ll be there at 8.”

***

Rey got home at about 6:30 from her classes and quickly got cleaned up. She didn’t exactly wear much makeup, but she threw on some glossy chapstick and did a tiny bit of mascara. She liked to appease Finn, proving she was a girl, deep down. She eyed her closet and put on black jeans, black combat books, and an army green hoodie. She felt comfortable.

When she left, it was about 7:30; she’d be a bit early. It was only a couple blocks, taking about 15 minutes. But she didn’t have a lot of money and it wasn’t like she had to be there exactly on time. So she rushed to Poe’s to get out of the cold. 

She shivered as she casually jogged up the stairs to the appropriate floor. As she approached the door, she hears loud talking from behind the door. She listens for a moment, and thankfully didn’t hear the dark haired man speaking from behind the door. She opened it without knocking, knowing it wasn’t locked. 

When she entered, she saw Poe and Finn sitting next to each other on the couch, laughing at some joke she missed. Rose was behind the tiny kitchen counter, pouring herself a glass of beer. They all greeted her when she walked in. But most importantly she didn’t see Kylo. 

She sat down on the couch next to Poe. The couch was long enough for about four people, which was perfect for movie nights. Finn and Poe were sitting in the corner of the couch, making room for the girls. After she sat down and greeted everyone, took off her coat and made herself comfortable, she heard a door knob turning from inside the apartment. And out of the bathroom walks Kylo. 

She was certainly taken aback at first. He was wearing black joggers and a white wife beater that looked like it had been ironed. She frowned. 

She saw him walk towards the couch, eye her, and let out a huff.  _ Of course he was going to be rude.  _

And in just a few strides of his long legs, he was sitting next to her. There was still a comfortable few inches, so she didn’t think too much of it, except that she could cut the tension in the air with a knife. 

As they threw  _ Love, Actually  _ on, Rose suddenly bounded for the couch. 

“Uhh, Kylo, scooch over! I need to sit down somewhere.” As he began to scoot, he made contact with Rey’s side. 

As he made contact, though, she felt something scream through her. She felt every inch of him touch her, the way there was a slight dip in his waist, the way his broad shoulders brushed up against her. She was also basically sitting on Poe’s lap, but felt nothing on that side, except that he was slightly uncomfortable to sit on. But this man was different. He was 6 years older than her, which seemed like a lot in her head.  _ What has he done?  _

She didn’t really know what that question meant, but she analyzed it nonetheless. He cleared his throat. He obviously didn’t feel the same way. She was snapped out of her trance when Poe complained about having to be so crammed. Rose gave some retort about needing space. Rey tried not to curl up against the man. 

As time went on, this became a formidable challenge. She had seen the movie a dozen times, relatively unfazed. She had even seen it with Finn’s dialogue about the intricacies of the sex scenes, but this time was different. When they came on, Kylo stiffened, clearly uncomfortable. Poe made a joke to him about being a prude. He didn’t laugh. 

She expected the electricity he had to subside, but it didn’t. Every touch, bump, and brush made her skin get goosebumps and her spine straighten. Not that her posture even compared to his. His was impeccable. She wanted him to put his arm around her. She wanted to punch him for being so stoic. For the slight blush that crept on the apples of his cheeks when there was anything moderately risqué. For the way he occasionally looked at her, a little confused, a little unreadable. He looked at her like she was something he had never seen. She was insulted, but it didn’t last long. He was too… magnetic. 

But the important part was that she hated him, and that he wasn’t going to ruin her night, so halfway through the movie she got up and returned by sitting on the floor in front of the couch, saying things like ‘the floor is more comfortable, I swear’ and ‘seriously, Poe, I don’t mind’. After a while, they agreed. 

After she unstuck from him, her hatred returned. He was too quiet, kept accidentally bumping up against her back with his knees, coughed too loud when he did break his silence, didn’t laugh at the funny scenes. He was  _ obnoxious.  _

When the movie ended, she continued to sit on the floor, eating whatever was left of what Poe called hor d’oeuvres. It was mostly ‘weekly clean out my fridge’ day, but she ate the soft apples and tangy ranch dipped carrots. It’s not like she had any better at home. 

Poe had looked shifty for a while, and Rey approached him as he walked down the hall to grab something from his room. 

“Is everything okay? You look…” She stared him up and down. “You seemed off today. You can tell me, you know.”

Poe let out a slight laugh. “Something was up with me? You looked like you were being held at gunpoint. Are  _ you  _ okay?”

“I think so,” Rey watched Poe’s eyebrows dart up. “I mean, I am. Today was just a weird day. I don’t really know what’s wrong.” That at least wasn’t a lie. “So tell me, what is going on with  _ you _ ?”

Poe let out an indignant ‘ _ fine _ ’ before telling her. “I think I might have a thing for someone?” Rey tried to hide her smile. “It’s just like, they’re electric? Like, despite the fact you shouldn’t, all you want to do is just be with them? Like, you want to punch them sometimes, but at the end of the day, all you want is  _ him _ .” Poe looked frozen for a moment, like he didn’t mean to let that last word escape his lips.

“Who is this mystery boy?”

Poe expertly dodged the question. “But do you know what I mean? That feeling that just screams at you? It’s like it’s-”

“Meant to be.” Rey finished the sentence without a second thought. Poe was nodding, but also looking at her inquisitively. “What is going on with you, though? I’m seriously worried.”

Damn his kindness. “Seriously, it’s nothing important.”

“It’s important to me.”

Wow, expert guilt tripping. “I just,” she hesitated, trying to find the words to describe what she wanted to say. “I  _ hate  _ your friend Kylo.”

Poe chuckled. “Don’t we all.” When he saw Rey was serious, though, he frowned. “Sure, he’s … an  _ acquired taste,  _ but he’s a good guy. Kinda moody, kinda impulsive,  _ terrible  _ luck, but he’s a good guy. Why do you hate him so much?”

“He’s a snob!”

“You’ve spoken to him  _ once _ .”

“Once was enough. I don’t know, he’s too tall, seems full of himself, seems like he’s angry at everything. Maybe it’s just me being me, but I just don’t like him.”

Poe clapped her on the shoulder. “You’ll survive for a few more hours. I’m certain of it. Love you!” He pulled her into a short hug, and they both walked into the room together. 

When the entered, everyone was staring at them. She didn’t think of it in the moment, but she guessed both of them disappearing together then coming back ten minutes later without a hint of explanation looked a little suspicious. Her eyes went straight to Kylo’s, who had an eyebrow raised, darting his gaze between the two of them. He looked... upset?”

Before she could process this, Poe was babbling something about it ‘not being what it looks like’. Rey elbowed him in the side. “You’re making this worse, Poe.”

Suddenly, as if there had been a fight, Kylo got up and walked out of the apartment.

_ Oh God. _


	2. In the Heat of the Moment

He was scared, but he’d never admit it to himself. He was jealous, but he didn’t know why. When that girl burst into his friend’s apartment, he felt something. It was as if something inside him had snapped. When she was pressed up against him on the couch, powerful yet small, like he could break her so easily, he felt that same snap. It was as if she had hotwired his head, like she could hear his thoughts, like she could break _him_ just as easily. 

So when he found out this girl was dating, or at least fucking Poe he felt this wave, like the air was sucked out of him as if he got punched straight in the gut. And this feeling made him feel… some type of way, because he just shot up and left. When he got home, he threw something against the wall and fell asleep on the couch with his phone ringing.

Poe had called him almost nonstop since he fell asleep. He left a few messages, ranging from ‘are you okay’ to ‘what the fuck is wrong with you’. He didn’t want to deal with them, so he deleted the voicemails and went through his day.

Because it was a Saturday, he didn’t have classes, but he mostly spent his weekends studying. He liked it when people thought he went to parties, was wild, got drunk. He quit that life a while ago. It was not good for him. It made him even more temperamental, even more angry. He didn’t need that in his life. He left his college frat, he left those people behind, but he missed it sometimes. Things like that are hard to quit.

Kylo got dressed at about noon; he decided to brave Poe in person. He wasn’t going to confront him, at least he didn’t think. He was mad that Poe didn’t tell him that he was with someone, at least he thought that was why he was mad. So he dressed in a black button down and black jeans, throwing on a black sports coat and headed out. It was nice in New York today. He lived in Brooklyn in a limestone townhouse, owning two stories worth of space. He had a cozy outdoor sitting space, but his apartment itself was very minimalist. He liked it that way.

He drove to Manhattan, where Poe lived. He was the only one of his friends that had a car, but that was simply because he had a long commute. When he got there, he rapped on the door, only to be greeted by an ‘I’m busy’. 

“Poe, it’s me. I just wanted to-” The door opened. 

“Are you okay?” The man could be annoying, blunt, and headstong, but damn he was compassionate. “What happened?”

“Nothing, well, I don’t really know, but I came to apologize.” 

Right as he said that, he heard someone call to him. And it sounded like Rey. “So, you are sleeping with her?” His blood boiled, but he didn’t know why. 

“What? No, no that’s not it. Is that why you left yesterday? Because, I mean, it might be a bit tricky, but she’s all yours, man.”

“No, that’s not it,” But the idea that Rey could be ‘all his’ made something flip and flutter in him. “But why would it be tricky?”

Poe scratched the back of his head and lowered his voice. “Well, she’s not exactly the ‘dating type’, and she doesn’t really…”  
“Like me?” Kylo offered.

“Well, I mean, it’s not like that really,” Poe stammered, but he got the memo, he didn’t like her either, really. But something in him _wanted_ her to like him. It was the same way something in him _wanted_ her closer on the couch yesterday.

And in that moment he had a mission. He would make this girl fall for him, at any cost. “Can I come in, or is now a bad time?” That mission started today. 

“Sure,” Poe said, opening the door to him. “But be weary, she’s not exactly a morning person.”

“It’s noon?”

“Yup.”

So he walked into the apartment, trying to stride confidently, and he caught a look at her. She was in the same outfit from yesterday, but her hoodie was tied around her waist, wearing a white tank top. The thin straps exposed her clavicle, and he could see her lacy red bra straps. She, well, she was stunning. He swallowed the gasp that bubbled in his throat. She was also staring at him, a look similar to the one he thought his own face had on. A blush crept onto her cheeks, but she quickly turned away to continue making her toast. “What is he doing here?”

Poe let out a sigh. “Be civil, dear. He’s just here to apologize, maybe have a cup of coffee. It’s not a big deal.”

“Whatever,” she huffed, but her blush was still there. 

Kylo sat on a barstool across from her, looking her up and down again. She noticed, darting her eyes across him as well. Whatever there was in the air made him feel drunk again. Like he was high off his mind, and they weren’t even touching. Just the idea of her sizing him up, looking at every inch of him, got him feeling this way. _Fuck, he was whipped._

“Do you want anything to eat?” She offered, begrudgingly. “I made some extra toast, if you want any.”

“Oh, I’m not really eating that sort of stuff right now. I’m trying to lose some weight.”

Again, she looked him up and down, blatantly staring at him. “Eat some toast, you’re fine in the weight department.”

He shrugged, guessing one piece of toast wouldn’t kill him. Poe sat down next to him after coming back from what he assumed was the bathroom, he ordered a piece of toast himself. She put the bread on a paper plate, putting a little bit of strawberry jam and handed it to the two boys. Since he hadn’t really eaten much today, he decided to eat the whole thing. He was actually pretty self conscious, deep down, but would never admit it. “Thanks.”

She smiled a little, then turned to talk to Poe. He sort of tuned them out, focusing on her without staring. He would occasionally steal glances at her, the way she laughed and smiled, the focused look she got when she was listening, the way her hair, which was half in a small ponytail in the back and half down, barely getting past her shoulders, swayed when she moved. He was transfixed.

He didn’t want to admit she was beautiful, though. Deep down, he knew he wanted everything from her, but he wanted her to want him first. He wanted her to close their distance. He wanted her to blush as she told him she wanted to kiss him.

“Kylo?” In his daydreaming, he had been asked a question by her. 

“Sorry, zoned out. What’s up?” He genuinely felt bad for not paying more attention to her.

“Poe thinks waffles are better than pancakes. Tell him he’s wrong.”

“Hate to admit it, but he’s right.”

She scoffed. “You both are stupid. I knew I had a reason not to trust you.” She laughed, but it still kinda stung. _She didn’t trust him?_

“Well, at least I’m not wrong about everything,” He shrugged off the insult with his own. 

“At least I don’t spend hours on my hair.”

He ran his fingers through his hair, messing with it slightly. He was proud of his appearance. 

“You two, cut it out,” Poe interjected. Kylo kind of liked it though, the way it felt like they were sparring with their words, like they had a choreographed dance. It was actually kind of fun. But he couldn’t exactly tell Poe he liked to argue with this girl he barely met. 

“Whatever you say, Poe,” he griped. “But you’re probably just protecting her so she doesn’t get her feelings hurt.” 

This made her face twist. “I’m not some fragile girl, I’ll have you know. At least I don’t get self conscious when someone mentions my hair care routine. And I don’t look at you like I want to- like I want to-“ she began to studder. 

He leaned it to her until they were a few inches apart, as the counter wasn’t very wide and he was fairly tall. “Say it.”

As if she was in some sort of trance, her face relaxed. “Like I want to fuck you.”

Kylo choked on his drink. Poe stiffened. “No one here is fucking anyone, you here me?” He looked so uncomfortable. 

“No, I want to hear why she thinks this,” Kylo interjected. “Continue, dear.”

Still slightly glassy eyed, she continued. “You look me up and down like you’re sizing me up. Like you’re trying to see through me.”

“And you don’t do the same thing?”

“Guys, come on. This is getting weird.”

“I’m not trying to look through you. I’m trying to- I’m just-“

“What are you thinking? I know there’s something you’re not telling me.”

She squirmed under his gaze, but continued to lock eyes with him. “I know you felt the same way on the couch.”

He frowned. “How did you feel?”

“I wanted to be closer to you, and I know you wanted to be too. I know you felt it.” She quieted. “You must have felt it.”

“I did. I felt you. I wanted…” He trailed off. 

Now it was her turn to take control of him. “What did you want, Kylo?”

“I wanted you,” He barely whispered it. 

Poe cleared his throat, and the trance was broken. He widened his eyes. Did he really just say that? To someone who insulted him, to someone who was mostly a stranger? _Fuck._

Rey also looked as uncomfortable. “I think I should head out.”

“Yea,” He followed. “I think I should too.”

And with that they were apart again. 

(Kylo's apartment was based off this one in Brooklyn Heights)


	3. Somebody to love

She worked Sundays, her boss was an older woman named Leia, kind but headstrong in a charming way. She also worked with Rose, but not as often. She worked at a coffee shop right off campus, between her and Poe’s house. 

The day was slow, so she quietly played her new playlist, swaying gently to the older music. It was the only thing she remembered of her parents. Leia left early, so she would be closing at 10. She always started cleaning things 15 minutes before they closed. No one ever really came in by that point. 

She had her back turned to the door as it opened, not bothering to jump to the customer. She could get to him in just a moment. She quickly put her rag in the counter, swinging her hips to ‘Stormy Weather’, quietly singing along. When the person behind her cleared their throat, she spun around.  _ Oh, great.  _

He had the same expression on, with a small mix of cockiness mixed in there. “So, you do sell sandwiches.”

“Fuck off,” She cursed, knowing it was just the two of them in the shop, no one to call her out for swearing to a customer. “What do you want?”

“Are you always this charming?”

“At least I have charm. You radiate ‘punch me in the face’ energy.”

He laughed, making her blush slightly. He leaned on the counter putting his weight where his elbow touched the fake wood. She elbowed his arm, but he recovered before he could fall. “I’m constantly astounded by how rude you can be.” She rolled her eyes. “Anyhow, I want a large cappuccino. And don’t spit in it.”

_ Of course he’d order a cappuccino.  _ “You’d probably like it.” She took her time. She thought about making it terribly, but she wanted him to realize she was good at what she does, she isn’t sloppy or impulsive like he was. She wasn’t petty or rude. Well, she was, but she wanted to be the better man to spite him. 

So she made the best damn cappuccino she had ever made, making a beautiful pattern on the foam. She handed it to him open, showing off her art. “Hope you like it, sir.”

He rolled his eyes and took a sip, and she could see it in his face.  _ He liked it.  _ She tried to hide her grin unsuccessfully. He looked back before leaving. “Uhh, thanks.”

Instead of leaving, he paused again, standing in the doorway. “When do you get off?”

She raised an eyebrow before checking her watch. “Just about now…” She stared at him. “Why?”

“I was wondering,” He paused to swallow. “If you wanted to go on a short walk with me.”

This was a trick. This was the kind of trick that she knew she saw, the kind she wasn’t going to fall for. The kind that-

“Sure.”

He internally cursed herself. She was stupid, she didn’t know where in her that answer bubbled up from, but it certainly wasn’t any rational part of her brain. “Great! I’ll just,” He paused to look around the shop. “I’ll just sit here.” He crossed his legs, and she stared at him, dumbfounded.  _ What the hell just happened? _

She quickly cleaned up, desperately trying to get everything done both right and as soon as possible. She sang along to the ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love With You” from her playlist. She finally finished and swung around as the song changed, staring at him while Freddie Mercury sang.  _ “Can anybody find me somebody to love?” _

She blushed at nothing. He was dressed to the 10s, probably getting off work to go here. He was in a three piece suit, all black except a maroon vest and tie, which were paisley print. She walked up to him, dressed in what she wore to work. It was a white blouse with army green pants. She hung up her apron. “Let’s do this, I guess.”

He put out his arm, and despite herself, she took it. It was strong and steady. “Where do you want to go?” She looked up at the sign. She was just off West 143 St. 

After a few beats of her not answering, he offered his own idea. “We could try going to central park? It’s very pretty this time of year.”

The day was abnormally warm, about 50 out. She shrugged, and they walked out of Manhattanville coffee. It was about a 30 minute walk. In the opposite direction from her apartment.  _ What did she get herself into? _

The pair exited the shop and began to walk down Adam Clayton Powell Jr Boulevard. They walked in a slightly uncomfortable silence. Where her arm touched her suit felt like it was on fire. She ignored it. After about ten minutes of this, she broke the silence.

“Why do you want to spend your afternoon with me?” She meant to sound rude, but it came off too genuine. He threw away his cup.

“I don’t know. We’re acquaintances. I like to know who I’m hanging out with.” His words were flat. He didn’t care about her, not really. This was all formalities. “I hope that’s okay with you.”

It wasn’t. She wanted him to be here because he wanted to be with her. “Of course. That makes sense.”

He smiled, and they continued in silence, this one a bit more comfortable. She liked the sound of her boots against the ground, the way she strode with confidence down the road. She never fell in love with the city like some people did, but on nights like this she appreciated it. 

Rey reopened the conversation a few minutes later. “What do you do?” When he scrunched his eyebrows as a question, she followed it up. “Like, what gets you those expensive suits? Poe said you live in a limestone townhouse in the Brooklyn heights? A nice one, too. How do you do it?”

“I’m a political risk consultant, I work 40 hours on top of my doctoral degree, and I make quite a bit from it.” He paused. “It’s not what I want to do, but it does more than pay the bills.”

She was moderately impressed.  _ He works full time on top of his doctorate at fucking Columbia? _ “That’s cool.” She hoped her voice sounded flat. She didn’t want him to know she actually cared about what he did. “I do a couple odd jobs, but I mostly work at the coffee shop. My boss pays fairly well, and she’s a lot nicer than my boss at the auto body shop.”

“You work with cars?” He looked impressed. “You should take a look at mine someday. It’s constantly got the check engine light on.”

“Have you checked your gas cap?”

“No?”

She laughed. “You know nothing about cars.”

“I never claimed to.”

“That’s fair, I guess.”

They continued to talk as they walked until they came upon central park. They were entering through central park north, and the gate was lit up with pale blue fairy lights. It was beautiful, but a shiver ran down her. Right after, she felt Kylo shift. She suddenly felt his jacket on her arms. 

“No, no I don’t need that.” She complained, shrugging it off and giving it to him. “I can’t.” But man she wanted to. It smelled like expensive cologne and was warm on her cold arms. 

“I don’t mind, seriously.” She looked at him, wearing a vest that caught the light perfectly. He was so annoyingly handsome. “I’m warm enough anyway.”

She slid her arms into the jacket. It must have looked ridiculous, shoulders too broad, sleeves too long. But he was looking at her in such a way that she wanted to melt. His smile was crooked, his head tilted. She barely squeaked out a ‘thanks’.

The park was beautiful. The closer it got to Christmas, the more lights and decorations came up. It was beautiful. After walking through and staring at the park for a few minutes, they came across a rock that jut out from the grass. “Would you want to sit down, then we’ll head back?” She nodded, still slightly speechless. He walked to the edge of the rock, dangling his feet over the 30 ft drop off. She sat, cross legged a foot away from him, facing him. 

“Why did you want to go here in particular?” She looked around. “I mean it’s certainly beautiful, but was this part of some grand plan?”

“Maybe,” He said, an impish smile on his face. His eyes darted down her face. He chewed on his lip, thinking. “Or maybe not. I mean, I didn’t exactly plan to run into you. I didn’t have that much time to plan some grand date.”

“Is that what this is?” She said, trying to take the bite out of the question and failing.

“Is that what what is?” He asked, confused.

“You think you can pretend to not care one second then the next say we’re on a date? That’s not going to fly.” He looked a bit uncomfortable under her gaze. “So I’ll ask you again, why do you want to spend your afternoon with me?”

“I just wanted to, I guess. There honestly was no grand scheme. I just wanted to make up for yesterday, I guess. Maybe finish the conversation?”

“I knew I shouldn’t have said yes to this,” She huffed.

“Then why did you? If you somehow knew this would be terrible, or some sort of trap, or whatever you think has been wrong with this, whatever this is, then why’d you say yes?”

She threw up her arms. “I don’t know. I just wanted to, I guess.” She unintentionally mirrored his words, a detail he didn’t miss.

“What is wrong with tonight? Why should you have not said yes to this?” He looked like he was trying to hide some emotion by a deadpan delivery. She ran a hand through her hair, mussing up her loose bun.

“I don’t know,” She was becoming increasingly exasperated. “I guess nothing? Maybe the fact you were weird yesterday and now you’re pretending nothing’s wrong. I mean, you introduced yourself today by coming into my shop, insulting what I do, then you have the nerve to ask me on a date? And then I fucking say yes? That’s what’s wrong with tonight!”

He sighed. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to spend more time with you. Plus, I think we have some unfinished business.”

“If you’re talking about Poe’s yesterday, I think that’s quite finished.”

Now it was his turn to get exasperated. “You said I look at you like I want to fuck you!”

“You literally said that you wanted me!”

“You said you felt it too,” He quieted, sounding more desperate and less angry. “On the couch, you said you felt something too.”

“I, I did, I guess,” She stammered. “But that’s over, it’s done now.”

He reached over and picked up her hand. Before she could say anything, another shiver went down her spine, but this wasn’t from the cold. His bare skin on hers, the way she could almost feel his pulse, the way he was looking at her, it made her shake. “It doesn’t have to be done, you know? I know you feel it, I can see it on your face. You want me too.”

She wanted to rip her hand from his, she wanted to get up, storm out, but she didn’t. When he adjusted so he was only a few inches from her, she gripped his hand just slightly harder, gently tightening her grip. Her lips darted to the way he barely parted his lips, letting out a breath. He saw her, and he put a knuckle under her chin, carefully making it so she was looking into his eyes. And, with some force she didn’t know existed, she closed the gap.

Kylo gasped, but returned the kiss. He moved his lips, letting them graze against hers. This man was an enemy as of a day ago, and now they were kissing under a tree lit with beautiful glass bulbs, casting a soft glow over them. He placed the hand that was under her chin on the side of her face. He used this to pull her closer, making the kiss deeper. She snaked her hand around his back, pulling him close enough that her chest brushed against his. At this, he broke the kiss. 

“I’m sorry, did I-”

“Don’t apologize, it’s not anything you did. I can’t, well I guess I just shouldn’t tell you why, but we have to stop. And we both have classes tomorrow. We should probably get ourselves home.”

Confused, Rey looked at him. “Sure, I guess whatever works for you.” Her disappointment was obvious. 

“I’m sorry, I really would love to keep this up, but I really just need to take a rain check.”

“Okay. Where are you headed?” 

“My car is just a couple blocks from here. I know you’re like an hours walk. I can drive you home?”

She hesitated, but after a moment she nodded. He stood up first, and she took the hand he offered her. They walked, not saying much of anything. When they got out of the park, he gave general ‘turn onto here’ directions, but besides that, it was a quiet walk. 

They got to a parking garage. He took them to the top floor, the one on the roof. “I drive a black 2017 volkswagon beetle. It’s a convertible.”

When she saw the distinctive car, she punched his arm harder than she meant. She murmured a ‘punch buggy’ and approached the passenger door. He unlocked it and opened it for her. She climbed in. 

“I’m surprised you drive this car,” She said, running her hand across the spotless dashboard. “I expected a Tesla or something, not the nerdiest car in the world.”

“Knight is not nerdy!” He defended, rolling down the roof.

“You named your car ‘knight’?”

“It’s a good name, shut up.” He looked over at her, smiling. “If you hate the car so much, you can walk.”

“Fine, I’ll shut up.” 

They rode in a tense silence, but not a bad tense. The kind of tension you get when you just kissed your friends college buddy that you hated literally yesterday. 

After what felt like both forever and no time at all, they pulled up to her apartment. It was shabby, and suddenly she was very embarrassed. Kylo got out of the car to open the door for her, and she thanked him. For a moment, he looked like he was going to kiss her again, but he sighed. “I’ll see you around, Rey. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Kylo.”

“Please, call me Ben.”


	4. Chapter 4

When he drove off, he was cursing himself. ‘Call me Ben’? Really? He hated his real name, he hated everything it stood for, but he wasn’t thinking straight. He turned up the music really loud, gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles. 

And he thought about the way she looked at him when he pulled away. The sad look on her face. That wasn’t part of the plan. None of that day was a part of the plan. The plan was all fucked up, and he was suddenly very lost and very upset. When he got home, he did some cleaning. This was going to get back on track even if he died doing it.

After making sure everything was immaculate, he took off his nice clothes, realizing he left his jacket with Rey.

The next day was long, like every other day. He got up early, went to work, and took his classes in the afternoon. When he got home at around 11, he knew he’d just have to get up and do it again tomorrow. He lay across one of his armchairs, looking at his popcorn ceiling. It was the one thing about the apartment that he hated. So he stared and fixated on the imperfection. He thought about drinking on days like these, but he didn’t need another hole in his wall. 

The rest of the week went like that. He got up early and stayed up late, but throughout the dreary days he had Rey to focus on. Not like she was there, but thinking about the way they kissed, her hand on his, the way she smiled. But almost every time he did this, he ran into the same problem he did that night, and he had to shut everything down.

Finally, Friday came. Friday and Saturday were his days off, so he’d normally get to Poe’s around 7, but today was different. As part of his plan, and partially to alleviate some stress off Poe, the party was at his house tonight. 

He spent the portion of the day where he wasn’t in classes to make sure everything was perfect. He even went out and bought the movie they were watching tonight,  _ The Nightmare Before Christmas _ . He argued with everyone for about a week about whether it was an appropriate movie for this time of year, but he eventually won with the fact that, unlike some ‘Christmas movies’, this one actually had Santa in it. Plus, his house, his rules.

Finn arrived first. He didn’t know much about him, except that he was 20 and went way back with Rey, and that that’s how she met Poe. He greeted him and sat on his couch. He had a 6 person L shaped couch, fitting four people on the long side and two on the short, and two armchairs. Finn sat on the side that fit 4.  _ Perfect _ .

Rose came in next and sat next to Finn. She only really knew Poe vaguely before, but was introduced to the group by Finn.  _ I guess someone’s Mr. Popular _ .

Poe called up and said that him and Rey would be a bit late. Apparently she was having ‘closet issues’. He didn't know what sort of issues one gets in with their closet. They would be there in 10 minutes, though. He frowned slightly, but them being slightly late didn’t really affect his plan. It was more that he missed her.

He informed the group of what was going on with their friends and he tried and pretty much failed at joining in on their small talk. He wasn’t as smooth as he used to be, but then again he wasn’t constantly drunk or high anymore, so his confidence wasn’t permanently through the roof. 

Poe walked through the door, followed by Rey. They locked eyes, and for a moment he felt incapacitated. He didn’t know what to say or do besides look at her in awe. She wore black ripped jeans, an oversized grey sweater, and an army-type jacket over it. She looked beautiful. But then she pulled her gaze away and the moment broke.

Poe sat down comfortably next to Finn and Rey walked up behind the both of them and whispered something in their ears, causing them both to stiffen. 

Rey sat down on the corner of the couch where the L bent. His plan was falling into place perfectly. He turned on the blu-ray and Rose asked for a beer. “Sorry, this is a dry apartment, unfortunately.” She whined, but he didn’t apologize. His house, his rules.

After loading up the movie, he scanned the couch like he was looking for his seat, even though he knew where he’d be sitting. He carefully sat down next to Rey, close but still not close enough. She gave him a small smile, and the movie started. 

She quietly hummed along to the songs as they played, and he smiled. She was so fucking beautiful, so genuine and stubborn, it amazed him.

As the movie came to a close, everyone got up and meandered, crooning over his apartment, but Rey stayed seated next to him. “Why did you leave me yesterday?” Her voice was quiet yet still demanding. 

“I can’t tell you, at least not here, not now.” He heard the genuine remorse in his voice, and it killed him. “But you did nothing wrong, and I wish it didn’t go like that. If you want to stay after, we can talk about it more, but not now.”

She nodded. “Will you drive me home after if Poe goes home before me?”

“Of course, if you will shut up about my Knight.”

She rolled her eyes, but before she could say anything, Finn walked up from behind the couch. “What’re you two lovebirds talking about?”

He opened his mouth, but before anything came out, Rey interjected. “You’re one to talk, you’ve been attached to his arm all day. Hell, you were basically sitting on him during the movie. If having a casual conversation is anything, you two have basically been fucking.”

Finn’s eyes widened. “I have not! Anyway, he sat next to me. We’re just friends.”

“Friends that call me after hooking up!”

Finn flushed a deep red under his dark skin. “Whatever, just shut up about it around Poe. He doesn’t know you, well I guess you too,” He pointed at Ben. “He doesn’t know you both know. So keep it to yourselves.” And with that, he walked off.

The party went on until about 11, around which people started to disperse. Poe always left last, but this time he was leaving Rey behind. He quadruple checked that she was sure, and Ben even overheard him asking if there was some assassination plot she was planning. He laughed quietly to himself after that one. 

Once Poe finally left, it was just him and Rey, there was an awkward pause, Rey standing by the door with Ben, close but again, not close enough. He saw her eyes dart to his lips, raising an eyebrow, asking a silent question. He took a step closer to her, leaned down slightly, and kissed her. He pulled her hips in close, holding the small of her back. After a moment, she pulled away and looked up at him, still in his arms, holding her like they were dancing. Her hands on his shoulders, his on her waist. 

“Why did you kiss me on Sunday?” She asked it quietly even though they were the only ones in the expansive apartment.

“Technically you kissed me.” His retort was met with a shrug.

“Same difference.”

“Not really?” He looked at her. “But I wanted to kiss you, and you wanted to kiss me, so we kissed.”

“Take a shot for every time you said the word kiss in that sentence.”

He laughed. “I’d rather not, thank you.”

“But I still am wondering,” She paused. “Why did you want to kiss me. I mean, you said you’re attracted to me, sure, but why did you pick me?”

“I guess,” He paused, unsure. “I guess just the way it feels when I touch you,” He moved the hand at her hip to slightly expose her side, running his hand over it. “It feels right.”

She used her hand on his shoulder to graze his neck and jawline with her thumb. The feeling made him draw her in for another kiss, gently backing her up against the wall as he did so. She let a little, impossibly soft noise escape her lips. He pinned her arms against the wall with one hand and gripped her waist tighter with the other. 

As she gently parted her lips, letting her tongue slide against his lower lip, he let her in. She wiggled a hand out of his grasp and moved his hand from her waist to her chest. He gently squeezed it, and she let out an almost silent moan. He was certainly enjoying himself, however the new sensation made him come into the same problem yet again, and he pulled away, eliciting a soft whine from her. “I’m sorry, we have to stop.”

“Ben,” He again internally wished he hadn’t told her his real name. He didn’t like how it made his problem worse somehow. “Why do you keep doing this? If you want to stop, that’s totally okay, and normally I wouldn’t ask, but you have this look on your face like something is wrong.”

Fuck, he was really going to have to tell her. “Nothing’s wrong, really, it’s just…” He paused, running his hand through his hair in exasperation. “I’m getting hard.”

Her facial expressions ran through a couple of emotions before settling on confused. “Why is that a problem?”

“Well it’s not like I could fuck you in the park!”

She bit her lower lip in thought. He glanced down, wishing it was his teeth working on her soft lips. “That’s fair…” She looked up at him without moving her head. “But what’s stopping us now?”

His plan was moving faster than he expected. He only expected to do a bit of making out, he didn’t account for getting hard and needing to stop before it became a noticeable problem. And he certainly didn’t account for her wanting to fuck her. “Nothing, I think?” He raised his eyebrows.

“If you’re asking for consent, I give it to you.”

He scooped her up and carried her to the couch. He placed her down on her back on the long end. He put himself on top of her, being careful to not put any weight on her. It was a good thing he worked out, because it was basically doing a half plank. 

He kissed her gently, she let her hands wander. She first let them land on his back, but it felt sort of awkward, like they were hugging horizontally. Then she moved her hands to his face and hair, which felt nice. She let one of her hands stay intertwined in his hair, letting the other settle on his ass, which made her giggle into the kiss slightly.

In order to touch her more, he leaned more on the couch, grabbing her chest again. He wished her could feel more through her bundled body. Just as he thought this, she began to discard her army jacket and sweater, leaving her in just her bralette and jeans. The bralette went down a bit longer, like it was a tight and short crop top. The reason you could tell it wasn’t was because it was a sheer lace thing, and you could see her through it. Either from exposure or touch, her nipples hardened under his hand. He gently rolled his thumb over one, making a rush of blood leave his head. He felt like he was high again.

“Ben, can you take off your shirt?” Her voice was quiet, but still somehow commanding. He happily did do, discarding his sweater. She looked down at his broad chest, mostly light skin on muscle, with light pink circular scars scattered throughout his chest. They were cigarette burns. She tried to shake the thought of the circumstances under which her got roughly 20 burns across his chest and stomach. It hurt too much to think about in the moment. “You look stunning.”

He could tell she was looking at his scars. He used to have issues, but now wasn’t the time to talk about them. “So do you.”

She kissed him a bit more, rubbing his chest and grabbing at his hair. She tried not to stop at his scars as best she could. He had a thin trail of hair going down below his belt, and it directed her eyes there. She reached for his belt, looking up at him for permission. He nodded, and she took it off and put in on the floor. She undid his button and unzipped his fly, and he sat up and slid his jeans off, discarding them.

When he sat up, you could see his outline through his red boxer briefs. They looked expensive and soft. Before he could get back on top of her, she looked at him. “Can I blow you?”

The question caught Ben off guard. “Sure, I mean, of course, if that’s what you want.” He smiled awkwardly.

“Of course that’s what I want.” She stood up and walked in front of him, dropping to her knees. She was eye level with his stomach.

“I do have one request,” He said, running the back of his hand over her impossibly soft face. “Take off your jeans.”

“Always so demanding,” she joked. She unbuttoned them and took them off slowly, like it was a slight tease. She was wearing a matching set of sheer lace underwear.  _ Had she planned this? Or was she always this coordinated? _ She got back on her knees, gently parting his legs with her hands. She gently began to stroke him through his underwear with her hands, nipping at the exposed skin of his inner thigh. He tried not to buck into it.

After a moment, she pulled down his underwear, exposing his cock. It had a pink tip and was probably about 6-7 inches. It wasn’t some monster of a thing, but he was certainly big. He shivered, slightly embarrassed from the intimacy of someone facing down his dick, but emboldened by the way she looked back up to his eyes, hooded and beautiful, though she was always beautiful.

She stroked it a few more times before kissing up the bottom of his shaft to his tip, leaving a gentle kiss there before enveloping what she could with her mouth, her hands stroking what she couldn’t quite fit.

He gasped, tilting his head back. This was better than any plan he could have concocted. The most stunning girl he had ever met was bobbing her head up and down his cock. He was twitching in her mouth, and she felt the same twitch between her legs. He smiled down at her. “Touch yourself, Rey. I want you to feel good too.”

She took her mouth off him reluctantly. “I already feel good.”

He smiled, putting his hands through her hair. “But you can feel even better. Here,” He scooted off the couch for he was sitting next to her. “Can I touch you?”

“Are you sure, I mean this can’t be any fun for you.”

He let out a little laugh that was more of a sigh. “This is fun for me, I promise. I want to make you feel good.” He gently grabbed her hand. “So, can I touch you?”

She kissed him gently. “Please.”

He took her hand and put it on his thigh for safe keeping. He moved so he was behind her, his back resting on the edge of the couch. They were sitting on the cold hardwood floor, but neither of them minded, the heat radiating off them keeping them at a comfortable temperature. He took his hand and unclasped her bra, watching the lacy thing fall off her. He gently cupped her breast in one hand, moving the other down her stomach, stopping at the band of fabric. “I’m going to touch you. If I do anything you aren’t comfortable with, let me know. That also means if things don’t feel good, tell me. I want this to feel good.”

She nodded, feeling his fingers slip beneath her band, grazing over her. She shivered at the touch, feeling his erection flush against her back. He ran two fingers in a V shape over the outermost part of her center, moving them up and down, putting them together, parting her gently. He ran his fingers over her clit, rough and strong compared to her gentle body. He sighed into her, rubbing small circles over it, slow and gentle. 

“Ben, I’ve never done this before, not with someone else.” He hated to admit this made a wave of excitement wash over him. He had never been anyone’s first time with anything. But then again, she was still young, at least young to him, so it made a bit of sense.

“That’s okay, Rey,” He whispered in her ear, and she bucked against his hand. “It’s going to be okay, you’re safe here.”

He continued to rub circles over her, moving faster by her verbal and physical encouragement. She slid per panties the rest of the way down, and she was fully naked. He looked at every inch of her, and with his excitement, he went harder. He noticed, and was about to slow down when she purred, “Just like that, please Ben.”

He nipped at her ear and fondled her breasts, experimenting. She liked it when he sucked hickeys on her neck, didn’t like it when he grabbed her chest too hard, liked it when she could hear him moan in her ear just from feeling her up like this. He did get turned on like this, feeling her chest and center. He tried not to move against her back, seeing what just touching her could do.

“I’m going to finger you now, okay?” He whispered it in her ear and she shuddered, nodding her head aggressively.

“Please, Ben. I want you to fuck me so bad, want to ride your hand. I want you to make me fall apart.” Surprised by the way she was talking, he slipped his middle finger while continuing to rub circles with his thumb, fast but gentle on her swollen clit. As he pushed into her with a curved finger, she instantly quickened her breath. “Please, Ben, more.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, especially if you’ve never done it before.”

“You won’t, I promise. I’ve done this before, albeit on my own. But just don’t do more than three, it starts to hurt.”

“Of course, doll.” He pushed another finger in, feeling her adjust to the new sensation. She basically pulled his fingers in; she was soaking. He pushed in a third and final finger when she adjusted. After a moment, he asked, “Can I move now?”

“Yes, and move fast. I want it so bad.” Never one to deny a lady what she wanted, he curled his fingers in her and hit where he knew she’d be the most sensitive. She began cursing and panting his name, and he wanted to flip her over and fuck her so bad, but this was about her. She deserved to have someone focus all their attention on her, although the feeling of the soft flesh of her neck under his teeth, the feeling of her erect nipples under his thumb, and the heat and wetness of her core on his hands all made blood flow to his cock in an intoxicating way.

“Ben, I’m really close, please can you grind against me. It feels really good to feel your dick against me. And keep fucking me, please.” He smiled into her neck, rolling his hips against her ass and lower back, and the louder she got, the faster he rolled his hips. Suddenly, she pushed him out with a gush of wetness, and he used his whole hand to rub back and forth on her clit. She made a small puddle underneath them, and she instantly covered her face. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what just happened.” She sounded panicked.

“You’ve never come like that before? It’s perfectly normal, you know,” He wrapped his legs around her, holding her waist close to him. “It was beautiful, I’ve never seen it in real life before, to be honest.”

She was still beet red. “I didn’t know I could do that. I’m sorry for making a mess.”

“You don’t need to apologize, dear. Here, I’ll grab a towel.” He looked at the floor, noticing it got on her shirt and underwear.  _ Fuck _ . “But we’re going to have to wash your clothes. Where do you have to be tomorrow morning?”

Realizing the problem, Rey scrunched her brows. “At 10 I need to be at work at the autobody shop.”

“We can get these all washed and ready for you to go out. For now you can sleep in a shirt of mine and any underwear I have. Is that okay?”

“Of course. Do you have a shower?” 

“It’s right down in the master bedroom. Go upstairs, it’s the first door on your left,” He said, grabbing a washcloth and cleaning the floor and wiping off his hand. “Do you need anything?”

“Can you come in with me?”

He had never showered with anyone. He had never finished, and his dick jumped at the opportunity. “Of course.”


	5. Chapter 5

They didn’t make it to the shower. Still naked, Rey moved up the stairs next to Ben, holding his hand, a sign of intimacy she usually disliked, but she trusted Ben. When they got upstairs, he pinned her against the bathroom door, kissing her before picking her up, bridal style, and putting her on the counter of the bathroom. He pushed her legs apart and began kissing at her tan flesh, kissing more hickeys on her thighs. She giggled, the sensation tickling a little. “Ben, you’re killing me!”

He smiled, sucking a bright pink mark on her before kissing higher up her thigh. But right before he got to her, he began kissing back down. She whined and wiggled, and he looked up innocently. “What do you want, dear? Use your words.”

She sighed, haughty. “I want you to move up, kissing me gently.” As she spoke, he followed her instructions. She closed her eyes as she spoke. “Gently drag your fingernails down my inner thigh while you kiss me there. Ah-” She yelped as he took her into his mouth. 

“Keep talking to me, dear. You sound pretty.”

“Fuck, Ben. I want you to keep doing that,” She could barely get it out through her gasps and moans.

“Do what? I want to hear you say it.”

“I want you to keep kissing my clit, I want you to suck on it gently, I want- fuck Ben, how am I supposed to be coherent when you’re doing this?”

“I can stop?” 

“No, please. I’ve just never had this done to me, and I just feel really good. I want you to keep going.”

“Then keep talking. It helps both of us understand what to do.”

“Okay,” she sighed as he started to eat her out again. “I want you to keep doing that, sucking on me, but be gentle. And I want you to put your fingers in me, like before.”

She began to fall apart as he fucked her with two of his fingers and ate her out. She started to lightly pant, and with his free hand he reached behind her waist, steadying her. He pulled away for a moment, and she let out a whine. “Can you…” Rey started. “Can you talk to me too?”

He smiled, still in her. He kissed her clit again before just using his fingers. “Is it okay if I call you a slut or bitch?”

“Yes please,” She all but purred. “I want you to do anything you want. I’m all yours.”

“Okay, but tell me to stop at any point.” He waited until she nodded before he continued. He pulled his fingers out of her. She whined again, this one more needy. “I’m going to fuck you with my hand, but first I want to look at you. Your gorgeous body, your beautiful face, perfect tits, kissable thighs. You already have slutty little marks all over you; you’re mine. I want to feel you come again, taste you on my lips. I want you to keep coming on my hands, my mouth, my cock. I want you to fall apart.” He slipped two fingers in her. “I want you to beg for me to let you come. You’re not allowed to until I say.” He began moving his fingers faster, somehow hitting her G spot almost every time with his long, wide fingers. “Do you understand? You have to ask me before you touch either of us, before you come.”

“Yes, I understand, sir,” She gasped out the words, clearly riled up thoroughly. And the ‘sir’ made him speed up. He liked this new Rey, letting him take charge, boss her around. 

“Good girl, my little whore.” He felt her constricting on his hand. “Don’t you fucking come.” He buried his face between her thighs again, fucking her and sucking her clit. 

“Please, Ben. Please let me come. I need to. I can’t- I can’t wait. Not like this.” He ignored her pleas, fucking her even more relentlessly, slipping in a third finger easily with her wetness. “Ben, I’m gonna- I’m gonna do it again!”

And she came again, squirting harder than before. He smiled, his lips and nose slightly wet. He wiped his face off with his hand, smiling wickedly. “Aw, my poor little whore couldn’t take it. Just had to come all over me. What a slutty thing to do.” He leaned over, kissing her surprisingly gently. “I’m going to have to keep fucking you until you listen.”

She found this the opposite of a punishment, but she was very sensitive right now. “Ben, get the shower started, I need a minute to catch my breath.”

“Okay doll.” He kissed her, this time deeper. He tasted like her in a way that should’ve been gross but wasn’t. “Just give me a minute. Hop off the counter so we can wash you off.”

She looked back at the countertop, wet beyond belief. “I’m sorry I keep making a mess. I promise I can’t control it.”

“And I promise I don’t want you to try. Like I said, I think it’s beautiful.” He turned on the shower, holding out his hand until he deemed it warm enough. “Now, do you want me to fuck you?”

She didn’t hesitate. “Yes, but be careful.” She hesitated, feeling suddenly very awkward. “I’m a virgin.” 

“Of course, doll. I’ll take care of you.” He stripped himself of the boxers he still had on and she stared at his dick. 

“I feel bad.”

“Why? You’ve done nothing wrong at all?”

“You’ve made me come twice and you haven’t finished at all. Look how hard you are! You must want to really bad.”

“Rey, if you wanted to call it off here, or if you only wanted me to do stuff to you, I would still be happy. Sex, no matter what form, is about giving, not taking. At least that’s my opinion.” He stepped into the shower; she followed close behind.

The shower, like the bathroom, was huge. There was a mat on the floor that kept them from slipping.  _ That’ll be useful today.  _ He smiled at her, looking at her in a way that, if it were anyone else, would make her die of embarrassment. But with him, she wanted him to look at her, wanted her to focus on all her curves and dips. She smiled at him, looking at him in the same way. She looked at his pockmarks, darted across his chest like moles on his face. She shuddered. She didn’t like any circumstances in which anyone would be hurt like that.

“It’s okay, they’re all old.” He traced his finger over one. “Don’t worry about it.” He grabbed her waist and pulled her close so her chest was flush with hers. She felt his abs against her breasts and smiled into him again. “Now, can I get you ready?”

She felt his cock twitch against her stomach. “What are you going to do?”

He picked her up easily, like she weighed nothing.  _ Damn, he was strong.  _ She was straddling him, inches above his dick. “I’m going to finger you again, okay dear?” She gasped, excited but weirdly nervous. This would be the third time he would’ve done it today, but this time it was getting her ready. She wanted him badly, but she thought she would be bad at it. As she thought this, a wide finger slipped into her. It didn’t feel like enough. 

“More, please,” She moaned, panting. He pushed another finger, but she still needed more of him. When he put in another, she finally felt stretched, not uncomfortable, just a bit tight. 

After a few minutes, he took his fingers out, lining himself with her, rubbing her up and down before pushing his head in her. She gasped, feeling a bit uncomfortable but still wanting more. “Are you okay, doll?”

She buried her head in his neck. “I am, but just give me a minute to adjust. It’s still kinda weird.”

He just stood like that, cool water falling on their backs. After a little bit, he slowly began to push himself in until he was fully sheathed. It sort of hurt, but more so it felt  _ right _ . He filled her perfectly and in a way her hand never had. “Tell me when I can start to move you.”

She nodded gently, and using the hands on her ass, he picked her up and lowered her back down. He looked at her, awaiting approval. “You can keep going, just be gentle.”

He kept picking her up and putting her down like she weighed nothing. She kept her head buried in his neck, making quiet awkward noises as she bit at him, half on purpose, half on instinct. She only really noticed when he let out a low hiss. She mumbled an apology, but beforehand he craned his neck to his side to expose it more to her. “Please, keep doing that.” In that moment, she continued to nip at him in order to focus on something.

Soon, the nips turned into desperate kisses and sucking. The marks she left were bright red on his pale skin. His steady thrusts made her lose focus on not making too many marks, so soon his neck was almost all red. She ran his fingers through his hair, and assuming from his want for the bites, she tried yanking at his hair just a little harder than she would’ve wanted, and he gasped low and heavy. 

As she kissed his neck and pulled his hair, he lifted her faster and slammed her down harder. She felt the same way as she did when he had his fingers in her, but it felt  _ more _ , she felt  _ fuller _ . 

She suddenly felt a pushing feeling in her like she had felt before, and he pulled himself out and rubbed himself fast against her clit, and she came on him, the water washing off the mess. He instantly pushed himself back in her, and she was so overwhelmed by the sensation, she scratched his back in an X mark. He pushed her down hard, and came in her. 

She shuddered as he put her down on the edge of the shower as her leg shook, unable to stand on her own. He sat down in front of her, placing his hand on her thigh. “Was all that okay?” He rubbed her thigh in a way that wasn’t supposed to turn her on, but it still sort of did, but she suppressed it. She was spent, and seemingly so was he. 

“That was perfect, just next time warn me if you’re about to finish. It still was good, I just wasn’t ready for it.” She grabbed his hand, tracing patterns on his palm. She looked up at him, covered in red hickeys and bite marks. “I’m sorry about all that. It looks like it hurts.”

“It did,” He admitted. “But I’m okay with that. It helped ground me, and I’m okay with pain there. If it wasn’t turning me on, I would’ve not told you I liked it.”

“Okay. You might need to borrow some concealer if you plan to go to work any time soon.”

“I have my own, and don’t worry, I wear high collared shirts.” He looked at her. “Let’s wash up.” He stood up, extending a hand for her to take. 

They showered themselves quietly, occasionally stealing kisses from the other. After a few minutes, they hopped out. He wrapped a towel around her and gave her one for her hair. He dragged one over his hair and chest before letting it settle on his hips. She looked at the V line he had, smiling. “I’m going to clean up. Just grab a shirt from the second drawer down in the dresser, and underwear is in the top left one. I’ll see you soon.”

She crawled into bed, forgoing clothes. She heard him turn on the washer and saw him get a disinfectant spray. After a few minutes, he crawled into bed with her, covering her with his arms. 


	6. Chapter 6

Ben woke up in the middle of the night to a shifting body next to him. After a moment of panic, he remembered all that had happened, smiling and drawing her in closer. She hummed into his arms. 

“Are you awake?” She whispered, quiet enough that he barely heard it. He smiled into her neck. 

“Yea, doll. Having trouble sleeping?” He reached around her body to gently grab her chest. She giggled. 

“Yea. I always do, though. Nothing against you or your beautiful apartment.” She put her hand over his to let him squeeze her breast. He smiled, the small show of casual intimacy making him feel special.

“Okay. Do you want some melatonin or something? I have a plethora of things to help people sleep. I used to have pretty bad insomnia.”

She sighed. “I’ve tried it all, and nothing has worked, unfortunately.” He felt bad for a moment, not wanting her to suffer at all. “But I’m used to it now. I just have bad nightmares so sometimes it’s hard to get to sleep.”

“Ahh, that makes sense. I have bad intrusive thoughts, so sometimes I wake up with a really bad thought playing over and over again. Not fun.” 

Why was he opening up to her like this? Somehow, this felt more intimate than being in her, the way that she clung to him, the way that her naked body was pressed against his own, not in a sexual way, more in a relationship way. He pushed that thought from his head.  _ This was probably a one time thing. Don’t get your hopes up.  _

“I’m sorry. That sucks.”

“You know, when I had my plan, I didn’t expect it to go this well, to be honest.”

“What do you mean ‘plan’?” She sounded confused and weirdly hurt. “All of this was some type of plan?”

Ben ran his fingers through her hair. “Well at first, before I knew you, I wanted to show you that I wasn’t a bad guy. Wanted you here, like this, as a way to get back at you. I know how it sounds, but I promise it’s not like that.”

She stiffened, shrinking from the hand that was entangled in her hair. “So all of this was a revenge plot?”

“Not really. I did like you, but I wanted to show you that you were being silly,”

She pulled up the blanket to cover herself. “So I’m silly for not liking someone who insulted and belittled both me and my friend? Someone who waltzed into my place of work and asks me out under the guise of ‘just talking’?” She sat up. “Was any of that real?” Her voice was quiet. 

“What?”

“I said was any of that real?” She almost shouted it this time. “Did you actually stumble into my shop, give me a romantic date, have a party and invite me? Was any of it real or was it all to get in my pants?”

“No, it was real. I promise.” He tried to run his fingers down her side, but she grabbed his hands. 

“You’re a fucking liar.” She was angry, he could tell. She also looked hurt, like he had done something wrong. “You don’t care about me. Was all this a charade? The movie night at Poe’s, the date, all of it was to get me here?”

“You’re being irrational.” He wiggles his hands free from her grasp, holding them up like he was surrendering. “Just, listen.”

“I’m being irrational? You just called the best week of my life a plan to bed some ‘silly’ girl that you hated? Just to teach her a lesson?”

_ This was the best week of your life?  _ “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“What the hell did you mean?” She sat up, covering herself with his comforter. “I know it sounds like I’m overreacting, but saying that this was a way to ‘get back at me’ is kind of fucked, you know?”

“I know, that came out wrong.”

“I’ve just had people do shit like that to me before. And it hurts. People trying to get what they want out of me because they feel like they deserve it because of the way I act. It sucks.”

Now it was Ben’s turn to get offended. “You really pegged me for that type of person, huh?”

“I mean, look at you,” She gestured time him. “Look at everything you do.”

“Now what is  _ that  _ supposed to mean?”

“I mean, you kind of look and act like a dick sometimes. You have to see it.” Her voice was casual, like this was her usual pillow talk.

“So, if I look and act like such a dick, why did you have sex with me?”

“Because, well because we both wanted it. It doesn’t really have to be that deep.” He sat up to, not bothering to cover his bare chest. She was putting up some sort of wall, and it made him angry. 

“Okay, so this was a one night stand to you?”

“I mean, it’s not like I was planning on marrying you just because you fucked me.”

Ben suddenly felt very used. “I thought you felt it too. You said you did.”

“I mean, I’m attracted to you, if that’s what you mean.”

She was neglecting to tell him something, but he was still mad at how flippant she was being. “I’m going to get dressed.”

“Come on, Ben.” She sounded like exasperated. “You’re being unreasonable.”

“So I’m being unreasonable? First you freak the fuck out because I wanted to be with you, and now you say you didn’t even care about me in the first place?” He suddenly was very aware of every way he opened up to her. “You aren’t making sense.”

She huffed. “Not everything is that deep, Ben.”

Something in him snapped. “Don’t  _ fucking  _ call me that name!” He slammed the dresser drawer shut, making a loud sound. “I should’ve never had you over.”

“So you regret this, then?” Her voice was small, like she was choking on something. “This means nothing to you just because I’m not in love with you?”

“You’re the one who said that this means nothing!”

“When did I say that,  _ Ben _ ?” She was testing him, seeing what buttons she could push. 

He finished pulling on his jeans, his shirt over his head. He didn’t want any of this. “I told you not to call me that. This was all a mistake.”

“What are you going to do, kick me out with no clothes, no ride home.”

“I don’t care about how you get home,” He lied. “I just want you out of my room.”

“Stop it. Look at yourself! You’re being stupid and you know it.”

Some repressed anger and insecurity bubbled up in him, and suddenly he became a man he wasn’t. He pressed his forehead against the wall next to his dresser, silent for a moment. And then, like a popper, he went off suddenly and unexpectedly, and he found that his fist had gone through the wall.  _ Fuck.  _

He looked at Rey, and she looked scared. She slowly got out of the bed, shrinking to cover herself in any way possible. He fell to his knees. “I’m sorry.”

“Shut up.” She whispered. “This is exactly who I expected you to be. You’re angry and impulsive. You’re  _ dangerous.”  _ He had heard that one before, and suddenly he felt tears on his face. He was ruining everything again, and this time there was no drugs or alcohol to blame it on. This was all him. He was a terrible person. “I should go. Give me something to wear.”

He couldn’t respond. He knew if he tried to talk, his voice would break. He just moved out of the way, still on his knees. As she approached him, she watched him like he might jump at her at any moment. She grabbed a pair of his black jeans and a patterned army green button down. She looked pretty in his clothes, but he knew he shouldn’t say that. Not now.

Before she left the room, she looked back at him. “Goodbye, Ben.”

And suddenly he was alone, and it was his fault. 

When he finally woke up, he lit a cigarette. He didn’t smoke it. 

He called out of work the next day, saying he was sick. It was the first time he had ever called out, no matter how many times he showed up hungover beyond belief. He lay in bed. He wanted to call Poe, wanted to ask for her number, wanted to apologize. But he didn’t. He lay in bed and did everything but cry. 

He patched up his wall, but didn’t repaint it. He didn’t deserve to pretend like it didn’t happen. He deserved to be reminded. 

Just before he was going to crawl into bed and ignore the world until he had to throw himself into work and school the next day, he got a call from Finn. He had never really called him, so he looked at his phone quizzically before answering. 

“Ren, you better have a damn good explanation for why Rey is sobbing on my couch right now.”  _ Fuck, not now.  _

“Finn, I can explain.”  _ No he couldn’t.  _ “But it’s a long story.”  _ No it wasn’t.  _

“She told me all I need to know. I’m fed the fuck up with you, you know. You don’t know how to act; you never did.”

Finn didn’t know him before, when he was even more angry and vindictive. Poe must’ve told him. And Finn probably told Rey. “I know.”

“What?”

“I said I know. I have no excuses. I’m in the wrong. I just don’t know how to fix it.” He heard his voice break. “I just think I should leave you guys alone. Don’t worry. I’ll stop showing up to shit.”

Finn sighed through the receiver. “It doesn’t mean you have to stop showing up to shit, just be civil.” There was a silence. “And don’t you dare hurt her. She’s gone through a lot.”

“I know.”

“No, you obviously don’t.” Ben wasn’t scared of the man, but it did sort of feel like he was looking at a father with a shotgun. “Show up to Poe’s on Friday, but if you pull literally  _ anything,  _ that’s it for you.”

The week went by fast. He threw himself into his work and into school, focusing on everything but Rey. However, every night, he stared at the whole in the wall and lit a cigarette.

When Friday rolled around, he really thought about not going. He thought about changing his number, moving house, or going off the grid, but he found himself getting home early and dressing himself for the night. He wore a white undershirt and an unbuttoned black windbreaker over ripped black jeans. Again, he deliberated about not going and staying home, but he found himself in his car, driving to Poe’s.

When he got there, No one had arrived yet, besides the host. Poe clapped him on the back, saying something about how he was usually fashionably late. Ben sighed.

“You don’t have to pretend that you don’t know, you know?” Poe’s face flickered, his eyes finding themselves on Ben’s chest.

“I’m sorry, but Kylo,” He pointed at a small circle of blood on his white shirt. “You can’t take it so hard on yourself. I thought we were over that.”

“I am, it’s nothing, really.” Poe had been there for him when no one else really was, and he was the friend that knew the most about him. Him and Rey, that is. “I’m just going to lie low today, I’m just here for appearances, to be honest.”

Poe scratched the back of his greying hair. He was still so young, the grey made him stand out to many. “Listen, I want you here, and it’s an opportunity to fix things. Anyhow-” He was cut off by a knock on the door. “I have a plan.”

Before Ben could ask what the plan was, the door opened, and everyone walked in together.  _ Of course he was the only one not invited to wherever they were coming from.  _ Despite himself, he grabbed a beer.

When he turned around, he almost fell over. She was dressed to the tens. Apparently they had gone somewhere fancy, because she wore a deep blue cinched maxi dress with golden flowers and birds dancing across it. It had a low neckline that plunged lower than what he ever would’ve expected from her. He saw light bruises on her neck from the hickeys he gave her. He was currently hiding his own with concealer. He suddenly felt very underdressed.

When she saw him, she gave a weary smile that didn’t meet her eyes and half waved before sitting on the couch. He took a swig of his beer, downing half of it in one sip.

After the greetings, the one between Poe and Finn lingering longer than it should have, Poe turned back around, eyes widening at the beer in his hand. “Put that down, Kylo,” He hissed. He put it down on the counter. He missed Rey calling him Ben.

He sat at the counter, answering work emails. He sat like this for about an hour before he heard Rose announce she had to go, and she offered Ben her seat. The seat right next to Rey.  _ Of fucking course _ . 

Knowing he’d get his ass beat no matter what he did, he decided after a moment to sit down.  _ Pretend like nothing’s wrong, Solo. You’ve got this.  _ He placed his long body on the couch, crossing his legs to take up less space.

She was talking to Finn and Poe, her dress swishing as she bounced her leg up and down.  _ She’s nervous. She’s scared of you. _

Finn was staring at him, so he lowered his eyes to the floor.  _ I need to leave. Think of an excuse, think of an excuse, think-” _

“So,” Rey didn’t look at him but he knew she was talking to him. “What’ve you been up to this week. You seem,” She rubbed her face with her hand. “You seem different today.”

_ So we’re playing dumb. I can do that.  _ “Just some work and school stuff, tinkering with my thesis, as always.” 

Poe leaned in and whispered something to Rey that she laughed at. Ben turned red. Finn looked quizzically at the two of them, when suddenly Poe leaned in and whispered something to him as well, which made him freeze like a deer in the headlights. Poe laughed. “We have to go right now, but we’ll be right back. Throw on the TV or something,” He said, walking out of the room and toward the hall, leaving him alone with Rey.

There was a moment where there was silence, like they both were holding their breath in anticipation of something, and he swore she could hear his heart beating out of his chest. Before he could push out his apology, she deflated. “You’re bleeding.”

“Oh, yea.” He looked down at the small circles of blood on his shirt, zipping up his windbreaker. “Just a few bugbites.”

“Ben, it’s the middle of December in New York. There are no bugs.” She looked him up and down. “I’m worried about you.”

“Don’t be.”

“Poe said you were drinking tonight, and I know your apartment is dry. Please tell me what I can do to help you right now.” Her brow was furrowed. 

“Just drop it, okay?” He said softly. “I don’t need you getting hurt. You were right that night, it should’ve been a one off thing. And I could’ve hurt you.”

“But you didn’t. I was scared, yes, and what you did was absolutely not okay, but I want to be with you, Ben.”

“I’m Kylo Ren, not Ben Solo. And you shouldn’t want to be with me.”

“You’re right,” She said, catching him off guard. “I don’t want to be with you, Kylo.” Before he could react, she took his hands. “I want to be with Ben. And I know he’s still in there.”

He couldn’t help it, he leaned in and kissed her. She was gentle and soft in a way that made him feel like it would all melt away if he wasn’t careful. She kissed him back, his hands on her waist, hers on face. After a short moment, they pulled apart. “I like your dress,” He said, dumbfounded by everything that had just occurred.

_ Why did she kiss me? Why is she consoling me, aren’t I the bad guy? _ “Thank you, it was on sale.” He noticed the light gold glitter under her eyes and wiped it away gently, just on instinct. “Are we good?”

“Only if you want to be. It isn’t my say. I’m the one that hurt you.”

“You didn’t hurt me. That’s not to say you were in the right, but like I said, I forgive you.” She smiled. “I want to be on your side, I want to be with Ben.”

He smiled, kissing her again. This kiss said more than the words he had let tumble out of his mouth. It told her that he was working, it told her that his apology was genuine, and it told her that he still wanted her. When they pulled away, Rey looked flush. “We have about 15 more minutes alone, by the judge of it. We have that time to do whatever we want.” Her voice was quiet, and the implication of what she had just said made Ben go red.

“What sort of ‘whatever you want’ were you thinking?”

“Just kiss me and we’ll figure it out.”

Ben brought her in closer, letting her straddle him on his lap. She was almost perfectly at eye level, maybe just a bit taller like this. He enjoyed it. She wasted no time, kissing him and rocking her hips back and forth on him. “We can’t take off our clothes, but I am wearing a dress,” She mumbled between kisses. “Easy access.”

He turned bright red, his pale skin showing his flush all too well. “I mean, if that’s what you want?” His inflection phrased it as a question. “But how do you know we’ll have time for that?”

“They’re having sex in his room right now.” She looked at him, giggling. “They’re a mess.”

“Are we really any better?” He said, sliding his hand through the slit in her dress to touch her upper thigh. “But first, grab a towel. This isn’t our couch, after all.”

“Good point!” She jumped up, running to the bathroom and returning with a plush white towel. She looked so adorable like that, excited and bubbly, her leg slightly exposed through her dress. “Is that good?”

“That works.” He was still slightly stunned. This was not how he expected today to go. “Now sit on my lap and face the TV. Also, are you wearing a bra?”

“Nope,” She said it with a large smile on her face. “Is that a problem?” 

“Quite the opposite, my dear Rey.” She sat down on his lap and he traced what remained of the hickeys. “You’re so pretty, you know that?”

“I’ve been told,” She said, leaning back into him. “But I haven’t ever really believed it until you.”

Ben reached into the slit in her dress, dragging his fingers up her inner thigh. He wished he could kiss her there, but he knew they didn’t really have time for that. Rey closed her eyes while Ben kissed her neck gently, finding her core with his fingers. 

“You aren’t wearing underwear.” He whispered it, the words slipping past his lips without him meaning to say them. 

“I was hoping this was going to happen. A lady is always prepared.” She reaches down and guided his hand to her clit, gently rubbing patterns into the back of his hand as he rubbed circles. 

“Now, you have to be quiet, doll. Can you do that for me?” Rey nodded, biting her bottom lip.  _ God, he didn’t deserve this. Didn’t deserve her.  _ “I’m glad we made up.”

“I can’t stay mad at you. You’re too pretty to be mad at.” Ben blushed at the compliment, that affecting him more than the fact he was slipping his finger in her. 

“No, stay on my clit. That’s going to make me squirt faster. Plus, it’ll make me want you to be in me more, and I think we both know we can’t really do that here.” He moved his hands back out, albeit reluctantly. He liked her warmth on his fingers, feeling her contract and open for him. However, the way she melted when he touched her clit made it worthwhile. 

“I can’t believe you’re so comfortable with this to be honest.” He tried to say it casually, like they were having a normal conversation and he wasn’t relentlessly fingering her. “Not that I mind.”

She just hummed as a response. He assumed she couldn’t really talk without making some sort of noise in regards to what was happening. Her eyes were closed, and he decided to follow suit. He just wanted to focus on the way she felt, the way her leg shook gently, the softness of her dress, the way it covered everything that was happening- the only way you knew what was happening was his forearm dipping below the slit in the dress. He also focused on the wetness of her cunt, the way she breathed in harshly through her nose when he changed pressure or rhythm. He was turned on, grinding gently against her leg. 

His thoughts were interrupted by a cough, and Rey pushing his hand away. He opened his eyes to see Poe, wide eyed, standing in the doorframe. 

After a moment's pause, his hand still plunged in her dress, he pulled it away slowly. He wiped it on the towel, and Rey shot up off her lap. Poe suddenly laughed. “I see you two made up.”

“It’s not what it looks like, I swear.” 

“I’m sure. Ren, I expected this sort of thing from you, but Rey, I never saw you doing something like this. Well, I didn’t expect it until you stumbled into my apartment at 4 in the morning covered in hickeys.” His jovial tone dried for a moment. “But seriously guys, on my couch? You both know that’s new.”

Dumbfounded, they both muttered an apology. Ben gave a pleading look to his friend. “Can you just, not tell anyone about this?”

“No promises, but I’ll  _ try  _ to keep my mouth shut. Anyhow, you two lovebirds should head out. Me and Finn need some time alone.”

“Oh so we can’t do anything but you two can literally fuck in the next room? Talk about a double standard.”

Poe laughed again. “Just head out. Rey, I’ll see you tomorrow. And Kylo, we need to have a talk sometime soon.”

“Goodnight, Poe.” He managed, afraid of what a ‘talk’ would entail. “See you soon.”

As they walked out, Rey quietly mumbled “good one, Solo.”

He couldn’t help but laugh. 


End file.
